| # |
| 1 | Arthur  | Quotes | Quotes |
|
Arthur
Arthur: My name is Arthur and this is my diversion.
|
| 2 | Arthur | Quotes | Quotes |
|
Arthur
Arthur: Not in the face! Not in the face!
|
| 3 | Arthur | Quotes | Quotes |
|
Arthur
Arthur: You can't fight evil with a macaroni duck!
|
| 4 | Crusading Chameleon | Quotes | Quotes |
|
Crusading Chameleon
Crusading Chameleon: Can't... do... plaid!
|
| 5 | Die Fledermaus & American Maid   | Quotes | Quotes |
|
Die Fledermaus & American Maid
Die Fledermaus: Hey baby, I'm under the mistletoe. Make my Christmas.
American Maid: Field mouse, get under a missile. Make everybody's Christmas.
 
|
| 6 | Dr. Mung-Mung | Quotes | Quotes |
|
Dr. Mung-Mung
Dr. Mung-Mung: He weeps for he has but one small tongue with which to taste an entire world.
|
| 7 | Hotel Manager | Quotes | Quotes |
|
Hotel Manager
Hotel Manager: Bellbots! Delouse these unevolved small-heads, and get them ready to serve!
|
| 8 | Hotel Manager | Quotes | Quotes |
|
Hotel Manager
Hotel Manager: Get your filthy paws off that beverage, you dirty ape! Sorry about the mess. Our iced tea is just that good!
|
| 9 | Hotel Manager | Quotes | Quotes |
|
Hotel Manager
Hotel Manager: This morning my entire staff of waiters quit on me! They got tired of commuting 3.6 million years to work every morning, I guess. Oh, and of course the tips were lousy.
|
| 10 | Hotel Manager | Quotes | Quotes |
|
Hotel Manager
Hotel Manager: Welcome, time-tourists, to the grand opening of the Great Time prehistoric resort hotel. You have traveled all the way back from the year 101,996 AD to the dawn of humanity. Explore the harsh terrain where it all began! Or, simply relax amid the heady romance of the way we were. At the tar pits, you can see how fossils are made! For the wildlife enthusiast, we offer a rare treat. Observe the mighty beasts of yore in their natural habitats. And then eat them in our elegant dining rooms! Cooked to perfection, and served by our newly-acquired tribe of australopithecine waiters. They're not savvy, they're savage!
|
| 11 | The Human Bullet | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Human Bullet
The Human Bullet: This looks like a job for The Human Bullet - Fire me, boy!
|
| 12 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick (swimming through a river of Santas): Like a great blue salmon of Justice, the mighty Tick courses upstream to the very spawning ground of evil.
 
|
| 13 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Ah, savory cheese puffs, made inedible by time and fate.
|
| 14 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: And, isn't sanity really just a one-trick pony anyway? I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking, but when you're good and crazy, oooh, oooh, oooh, the sky is the limit!
|
| 15 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Arthur - monkey out of nowhere!
|
| 16 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Can't lose my name, it's on all my stationery.
|
| 17 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Crime has a bossanova beat.
|
| 18 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Destiny's powerful hand has made the bed of my future, and it's up to me to lie in it. I am destined to be a superhero. To right wrongs, and to pound two-fisted justice into the hearts of evildoers everywhere. And you don't fight destiny! No sir! And, you don't eat crackers in the bed of your future, or you get all... scratchy.
|
| 19 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Don't ever try to swim against the mighty tide of justice.
|
| 20 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Don't make us bite you in hard-to-reach places!
|
| 21 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Everybody was a baby once, Arthur. Oh, sure, maybe not today, or even yesterday. But once! Babies, chum: tiny, dimpled, fleshy mirrors of our us-ness, that we parents hurl into the future, like leathery footballs of hope! And you've got to get a good spiral on that baby, or evil will make an interception!
|
| 22 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Gravity is a harsh mistress!
|
| 23 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: He has the moustache of a titan!
|
| 24 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Hey! You in the pumps! I say to you, "Stop being bad!"
|
| 25 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Honk if you love justice!
|
| 26 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: I am mighty! I have a glow you cannot see. I have a heart as big as the moon! As warm as bathwater! We are superheroes, men, we don't have time to be charming! The boots of evil were made for walkin'! We're watching the big picture, friend! We know the score! We are a public service, not glamour boys! Not captains of industry! Keep your vulgar moneys! We are a justice sandwich. No toppings necessary. Living rooms of America, do you catch my drift? Do you dig?
|
| 27 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: I don't know the meaning of the word 'surrender'. Well, I know it, I'm not dumb, just not in this context.
|
| 28 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: I hate broccoli, and yet, in a certain sense, I am broccoli.
|
| 29 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: I knew evil was bad, but come on! Eating kittens is just plain, plain wrong! And no one should do it, ever!
|
| 30 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: It's starting to smell a little like danger in here, or heavily-fried food.
|
| 31 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: I'm about to write you a reality check! Or would you prefer the cold, hard cash of truth?
|
| 32 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: I'm about to write you a reality check, unless you would you prefer the cold hard cash of justice.
|
| 33 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: I'm betting that I'm just abnormal enough to survive.
|
| 34 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: I'm taking off the kid gloves, and putting on the very mad gloves!
|
| 35 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Let us not forget the lesson that we can learn from this, Arthur, that man was not meant to tamper with the four basic food groups.
|
| 36 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Let your journey into hugeness teach us all a lesson. Absolute power is a sticky wicket. And, Arthur, chum, you were the stickiest. Don't you get it, good friend? Some of the best things come in small packages. But large things can't! Unless they're inflatable, or require some assembly, or unless they're hearts. Yes, giant, juicy, loving hearts! As big as the moon, but much, much warmer!
|
| 37 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Let's hang ten for justice!
|
| 38 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Mad Nanny! If you harm a hair on this greasy spoon's head, you'll have The Tick to answer to.
|
| 39 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Man! Today is so loopy!
|
| 40 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Mucal invader, is there no end to your oozing?
|
| 41 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Nobody mucks around with the Tick's bodily membranes! Prepare for swift justice!
|
| 42 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Not baked goods, Professor, baked bads!
|
| 43 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Ottoman, there'll be no Justice of the Peace for you, just a big piece of justice!
|
| 44 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Smells like... ambush!
|
| 45 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: So once again, we find that evil of the past seeps into the present like salad dressing through cheap wax paper, mixing memory and desire.
|
| 46 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Space aliens have neat stuff! Their space cookies are good, too!
|
| 47 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Spoon!
|
| 48 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Spooooon!
|
| 49 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Supermodels usually don't date guys who live in the dirt.
|
| 50 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Thank you for teaching us all that love is thicker than most bodily membranes. But not quite as sticky. And that a heart full of love is better than a body full of people. Merrily, the feet that carried us on the heart's path today will be the feet that soak in the steaming brew of happiness tomorrow.
|
| 51 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: The human mind is a dangerous plaything, boys. When it's used for evil, watch out! But when it's used for good, then things are much nicer.
|
| 52 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Villains always have antidotes. They're funny that way.
|
| 53 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Wait a minute, you! I heard about people like you! Are you saying you don't believe in Santa Claus? And you call yourselves superheroes?
|
| 54 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Well, folks, there you have it. A day in the life of a superhero and his sidekick. It's a very long day, the tights are uncomfortable, I think we covered that before. Map light, convenient and essential. A lot of working of villain motifs. Crime has a Bossa Nova beat. Leap before you look. Remember denouement. Other French words: inconvenient, nonessential. oh. I could go on and on. But time's a-wasting and evil's out there making hand-crafted mischief for the swap meet of villainy. And you can't strike a good deal with evil. No matter how much you haggle! We don't need to look for a bargain, goodness is cheap because it's free, and free is as cheap as it gets. Cut! What was that pig about?
|
| 55 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Well, it'll take more than a game of hot-foot with Mother Earth to keep The Tick from friends in need!
|
| 56 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Well, once again we find that clowning and anarchy don't mix.
|
| 57 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Well, once again, my friend, we find that science is a two-headed beast. One head is nice, it gives us aspirin and other modern conveniences. But the other head of science is bad! Oh, beware the other head of science, Arthur! It bites!
|
| 58 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Yeah, I agree, falling in love with a supervillain is trouble with a capital troub!
|
| 59 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Yeah, well, don't count your weasels before they pop, dink!
|
| 60 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Yes, destiny has her hand on my back, and she's pushing!
|
| 61 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: Yes, my slimy friend, once again slime does not pay! You can't just coat yourself with artificial mucous and slip through the long fingers of the law. It's wrong and it's gross.
|
| 62 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: You know, Arthur, it's really been quite a day. On the outside, oh, sure, we were pursued by Swiss Industrial Spies, trapped in the belly of a whale. But what really pursued us? Where were we really trapped? C'mon, Arthur! Get meta with me! What pursued us were our own obsessions. I'm good, you're evil. I'm a superhero, you're a sidekick. I'm a woman, you're a man. What does it all mean? Nothing! And where were we all trapped? I'll tell you where, Arthur! In the belly of Love! Love, Chum, Love.
|
| 63 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: You know, gang, when you're a superhero, you never know where the day will take you. You may find yourself halfway around the world in the shark-infested waters of true-to-life living. Or you may find yourself going down to the store for a lozenge. You can't know, can you? No! You gotta ride that wave, you gotta suck that lozenge! 'Cause if you don't, who will?
|
| 64 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: You know, though today was the worst day of my life, I learned many things. First, the world looks a lot different when you're six inches tall and covered with feathers. Second, two heads are definitely not better than one. And finally, you can lay eggs and still feel like a man.
|
| 65 | The Tick | Quotes | Quotes |
|
The Tick
The Tick: You're not going crazy! You're going sane in a crazy world!
|
| 66 | Uncle Creamy | Quotes | Quotes |
|
Uncle Creamy
Uncle Creamy: I am your sweet frozen doom!
|
