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| 1 | Cody  | Quotes | Quotes |
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Cody
Cody: I don't know what it's called, I only know the sound it makes when it lies!
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| 2 | Cody | Quotes | Quotes |
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Cody
Cody: Look, man, I almost blinded Jamie Lee Curtis on Freaky Friday, okay? This shit will fucking ruin me, man!
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| 3 | Cody | Quotes | Quotes |
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Cody
Cody: Mother Nature just pissed her pantsuit!
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| 4 | Cody | Quotes | Quotes |
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Cody
Cody: You're the Milli Vanilli of Patriots, okay?
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| 5 | Damien Cockburn | Quotes | Quotes |
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Damien Cockburn
Damien Cockburn: Now, let's go and make the greatest war movie ever! ...Oh.
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| 6 | Damien Cockburn | Quotes | Quotes |
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Damien Cockburn
Damien Cockburn: The chopper is God, and I am Jesus Christ, his son. You are my chosen disciples.
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| 7 | Kevin Sandusky | Quotes | Quotes |
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Kevin Sandusky
Kevin Sandusky: Don't drink that water! That water's like a petri dish! Alpa, do you have any Booty Sweat?
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| 8 | Kirk Lazarus  | Quotes | Quotes |
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Kirk Lazarus
Kirk Lazarus: All right, that's enough of this subordination. If the machine breaks down, we break down.
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| 9 | Kirk Lazarus | Quotes | Quotes |
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Kirk Lazarus
Kirk Lazarus: And the Oscar goes to. Yes! Tugg Speedman for "Tropic Blunder: The True Story Behind The Making Of The Most Expensive Fake True War Movie Ever"
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| 10 | Kirk Lazarus | Quotes | Quotes |
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Kirk Lazarus
Kirk Lazarus: Being an actor's no different than being a rugby player or a construction worker, save for the fact that my tools are the mechanisms that trigger human emotion.
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| 11 | Kirk Lazarus | Quotes | Quotes |
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Kirk Lazarus
Kirk Lazarus: Everybody knows you never go full retard.
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| 12 | Kirk Lazarus | Quotes | Quotes |
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Kirk Lazarus
Kirk Lazarus: Here's my motherfuckin' farm! I'm a lead farmer, motherfucker!
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| 13 | Kirk Lazarus | Quotes | Quotes |
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Kirk Lazarus
Kirk Lazarus: Hey, man! One week down, two weeks behind, G.I. Joe can't cry, but it don't matter 'cause you didn't have the camera turned on anyway. Let's party!
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| 14 | Kirk Lazarus | Quotes | Quotes |
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Kirk Lazarus
Kirk Lazarus: I don't read the script. The script reads me.
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| 15 | Kirk Lazarus | Quotes | Quotes |
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Kirk Lazarus
Kirk Lazarus: I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
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| 16 | Kirk Lazarus | Quotes | Quotes |
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Kirk Lazarus
Kirk Lazarus: Let's make lemonade.
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| 17 | Kirk Lazarus | Quotes | Quotes |
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Kirk Lazarus
Kirk Lazarus: Man, I don't drop character 'till I done the DVD commentary.
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| 18 | Kirk Lazarus | Quotes | Quotes |
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Kirk Lazarus
Kirk Lazarus: Same thing happened to me when I played Neil Armstrong in Moonshot. They found me in an alley in Burbank trying to re-enter the earth's atmosphere in an old refrigerator box.
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| 19 | Kirk Lazarus | Quotes | Quotes |
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Kirk Lazarus
Kirk Lazarus: Stop tailgatin' me, ya pasty teabag! I'm goin' potty. Wanna hold my dick?
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| 20 | Kirk Lazarus | Quotes | Quotes |
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Kirk Lazarus
Kirk Lazarus: Suck my unit.
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| 21 | Kirk Lazarus | Quotes | Quotes |
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Kirk Lazarus
Kirk Lazarus: Want some? Get Some!
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| 22 | Kirk Lazarus | Quotes | Quotes |
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Kirk Lazarus
Kirk Lazarus: Yo asshole! This muthafucka's dead. Ain't no Chris Angel Mindfreak, David Blane trapdoor horse shit jumpin' off here!
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| 23 | Les Grossman | Quotes | Quotes |
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Les Grossman
Les Grossman: Cockburn, from now on my fist is going to be so far up your shithole that every time you have a thought, it's gonna have to tiptoe past my wedding ring...
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| 24 | Les Grossman | Quotes | Quotes |
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Les Grossman
Les Grossman: First, take a big step back... and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE! I don't know what kind of pan-pacific bullshit power play you're trying to pull here, but Asia Jack is my territory. So whatever you're thinking, you'd better think again! Otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down an un-Godly fucking firestorm upon you!
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| 25 | Les Grossman | Quotes | Quotes |
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Les Grossman
Les Grossman: Look fuck-stick, I'm incredibly busy, so why don't you get the hell out of here before I snap your dick off and jam it into your ass.
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| 26 | Les Grossman | Quotes | Quotes |
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Les Grossman
Les Grossman: Oh. You're a great American. This nation owes you a huge debt. Now, shut the fuck up and let me do my job!
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| 27 | Les Grossman | Quotes | Quotes |
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Les Grossman
Les Grossman: This is your fault, you limey fuck! You shit the money bed, my friend.
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| 28 | Les Grossman | Quotes | Quotes |
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Les Grossman
Les Grossman: Which one of you fuck faces is Damien Cockburn?
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| 29 | Les Grossman | Quotes | Quotes |
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Les Grossman
Les Grossman: You know how you handle an actor? They whine about anything, you pull down their pants and spank their ass.
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| 30 | Les Grossman | Quotes | Quotes |
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Les Grossman
Les Grossman: You're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. I'm talking scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I will fuck you up!
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| 31 | Rob Slolom | Quotes | Quotes |
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Rob Slolom
Rob Slolom: It's Les Grossman. He throws these words around. "Crisis", "explosion", "not rolling", "fired". These are just words.
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| 32 | Simple Jack | Quotes | Quotes |
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Simple Jack
Simple Jack: I got a g-g-g-g-good brain.
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| 33 | Simple Jack | Quotes | Quotes |
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Simple Jack
Simple Jack: You m-m-muh m-m-muh make me happy.
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