TV Series 1982. Created by James Burrows, Glen Charles and Les Charles. Starring Ted Danson, Shelley Long, Nicholas Colasanto, Rhea Perlman, George Wendt, John Ratzenberger, Woody Harrelson, Kelsey Grammer, Kirstie Alley and Bebe Neuwirth.
Source Features: BBB (299) TIMELINE (39) MAP (15) QUOTES (35) TRIVIA (2) THEMES (1)
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Total Record Results: 35 - Medium: TV SERIES / Group: OTHER / Category: QUOTES
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1Carla & Sam QuotesQuotes

Carla & Sam
Carla: Hey, Sam, this was in your drinking days. I mean, this is the game where you thought the Orioles' mascot was a huge mutant bird.
Sam: Oh, my God.
Carla: Yeah, remember? Yeah, you threw a fastball at him. You hit him right between the eyes and gave him a concussion.
Sam: Well, what would you do if you saw this gigantic bird coming at you? Would you just let it attack you and peck your eyes out? Come on, it took you three years to live it down.

 

2Carla & Sam QuotesQuotes

Carla & Sam
Carla: Man, what a game! Eddie stopped 40 shots! Oh! I mean, I haven't seen a guy have a night like that since Harmon Killebrew hit those three moon-shot homers off of you, Sam.
Sam: Yes, I was certainly lucky to be there to see that, wasn't I?

 

3Cliff QuotesQuotes

Cliff
Cliff (after Cliff and Norm hum the theme from the Twilight Zone): Well, uh, how do you explain that, there, Sammy?



4Cliff, Carla & Norm QuotesQuotes

Cliff, Carla & Norm
Cliff: Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce a turnip that needs no introduction. Miss June Lockhart. Look here. You put a little make-up on her, shampoo and set her root hairs, and finish her off with a delicate strand of pearls... Is it me, or is this getting a little weird?
Carla: You passed weird six months ago.
Norm: Now you're boldly going where no man has gone before.
Cliff: Boy. I guess it's true what they say, huh? There's a fine line between gardening and madness.

5Cliff, Woody & Frasier QuotesQuotes

Cliff, Woody & Frasier
Cliff: Uh, hey, Woody, what'd you get for the happy couple?
Woody: Ah, well, strictly between you and me, I went up in the attic, dug up one of our wedding gifts. One of the ugliest things I ever saw. We couldn't wait to get rid of it.
Frasier: Ah, yeah, so you just thought you'd, uh, pass it on to the happy couple, huh? Good thinking. So, uh, what is it?
Woody: Oh, a set of Star Trek steak knives.



6Coach QuotesQuotes

Coach
Coach: You know when you live alone, you tend to forget other people have lives.

7Dave Richards QuotesQuotes

Dave Richards
Dave Richards: This is the Big Dave Machine saying good night and may the sports be with you.



8Diane QuotesQuotes

Diane
Diane: That was the noblest preposition you've ever dangled.

9Frasier QuotesQuotes

Frasier
Frasier: Oh. Hey, listen to this. According to the TV Guide, they're playing an old Red Sox game on Play Ball later... Well, it's, uh, this show on channel 58. They replay classic Red Sox games. Hey, say, listen, Sam? This is one of your games. Yeah, July 14, 1975, relief pitcher, Sam Malone. Hey, Sammy, what do you say we make an evening out of it, huh?



10Frasier QuotesQuotes

Frasier
Frasier: What luck! I got the last Spider-Man costume for Frederick! And look what he can use for webs (sprays Silly String).



11Frasier & Lilith QuotesQuotes

Frasier & Lilith
Frasier: Freddy is, of course, bedecked in the garb of superhero crime fighter Spider-Man.
Lilith: Interestingly, Spider-Man acquired his supernatural powers from the bite of a radioactive spider. I tried to explain to Frederick what would happen if one were really bitten by a radioactive spider, but he just cried.

 

12Frasier & Norm QuotesQuotes

Frasier & Norm
Frasier: The time has come to reject your darker self.
Norm: Well, thank you Obi Wan Kenobi.

13Frasier & Woody QuotesQuotes

Frasier & Woody
Frasier (regarding the Star Trek steak knives Woody re-gifted): Woody, damn it! That gift was from Lilith and me! They're delightfully whimsical and-and very utilitarian.
Woody: Uh,I'm sorry Dr. Crane. I didn't realize.
Frasier: Well, all right, Woody. To tell you the truth, I, I was doing the same thing you were doing. Fobbing off a gift that we thought was the worst thing we ever got.



14Frasier & Woody QuotesQuotes

Frasier & Woody
Frasier: I'll be off, now, but before I go, there's something I'd like to share with you. In Citizen Kane. Rosebud is the name of his sled. In murder on the Orient Express, everyone did it, and Luke Skywalker's father is Darth Vader.
Woody: Darth Vader is Luke's father?

15Frasier Crane QuotesQuotes

Frasier Crane
Frasier Crane: Well, for example... Well, there's me. But I can't tell you how many times I felt my own hands around her windpipe... strangling her... fingers tightening... cartilage snapping! And, uh, I'm a respected psychiatrist.

16Frasier, Cliff, Norm & Woody QuotesQuotes

Frasier, Cliff, Norm & Woody
Frasier (to Sam): Oh, right. I forgot, you're Nietzsche's Superman.
Cliff: Oh, yeah. Is that the one with the craggy face, uh, looks like granite?
Norm: No. No-no, that's, uh, Bizarro Superman.
Cliff: Oh, wait, which one was weakened by red Kryptonite?
Norm: Blue Superman.
Woody: I thought he was black and he wore the big hats.
Norm: No, that's Super Fly.

 

17Frasier, Norm & Cliff QuotesQuotes

Frasier, Norm & Cliff
Frasier (regarding the Star Trek steak knives Woody re-gifted): Well, all right, Woody. To tell you the truth, I, I was doing the same thing you were doing. Fobbing off a gift that we thought was the worst thing we ever got.
Norm: Thanks a lot, Fras. That was from Vera and me.
Cliff: You and Vera gave those away? You better not tell Ma.



18Henri QuotesQuotes

Henri
Henri: Admit it. With every phone number I catch, you die a little inside. You can deny what you are to the others, but not to me. Come, Sam, come over to the dark side!



19Lilith QuotesQuotes

Lilith
Lilith: I don't know that you should blame Carla's belief system on culture, Frasier. The need to worship higher intelligence is an innate and universal phenomenon. In fact, in recent weeks, it's become clear that my lab rats worship me as a goddess. I must confess, I don't discourage them.

20Lilith & Fraiser QuotesQuotes

Lilith & Fraiser
Lilith: Frasier, we need to have a discussion.
Frasier: Oh. no, don't tell me you have a thing against Halloween, too.
Lilith: I don't have a thing against Halloween. I just don't want my child panhandling door-to-door accepting non-nutritious snacks from strangers, dressed in a silly costume.
Frasier: But, darling, that is Halloween.
Lilith: Oh. Well, then I guess I do have a thing against it.



21Nick & Loretta QuotesQuotes

Nick & Loretta
Nick: Carla, I have to be honest with you. When I heard about this wedding, I was very hurt that you excluded us. After all, a marriage is a time for forgiveness and healing. We drove 22 hours to get here. We even bought a beautiful present.
Loretta: It's a set of Star Trek steak knives.



22Norm & Cliff QuotesQuotes

Norm & Cliff
Norm: All right! My rock smashes your scissors.
Cliff: Oh, no, not these scissors, pal.
Norm: What?
Cliff: This is a, uh, special titanium steel alloy...
Norm: Oh, give me a break!
Cliff: Developed by NASA for the space program. These scissors would smash your rock to smithereens, pal.
Norm: No, no, no, not this rock... this rock happens to be Kryptonite, from the planet Krypton. Maybe you've heard of it.



23Norm & Frasier QuotesQuotes

Norm & Frasier
Norm: Anybody else curious about Hanover?
Frasier: Come on, Norm, I'm sure it's just a normal, rural, small, little farm town. I'm sure Woody's stories are all greatly exaggerated.
Norm: Want to go there?
Frasier: What, end up as a human sacrifice to the corn god? Thank you, no.

 

24Rebecca & Sam QuotesQuotes

Rebecca & Sam
Rebecca: Why are you wearing a tuxedo?
Sam: Why does Superman wear a cape? To rescue people.

25Sam QuotesQuotes

Sam
Sam (after being electrocuted by television wires): I just remembered - I fought in the civil war.

 

26Sam QuotesQuotes

Sam
Sam (looking st Kelly's extensive Barbie doll collection): G.I. Joe should come here on leave today.

27Sam QuotesQuotes

Sam
Sam (reading note for Rebecca): "This certificate authenticates that this desk once belonged to George Bernard Shaw. It has become known as the ring desk because of the dark ring clearly visible on the desktop where he set down his tea cup upon completing the fifth act of Man and Superman." ...I wonder if that's the one where he fought the mole people.



28Sam QuotesQuotes

Sam
Sam: All right, here we go. July... July 14, '75. Red Sox versus the Orioles. Red Sox won. Oh, right. I pitched three innings. I must have been okay that day. Good. Yeah. All right, fellas.



29Sam QuotesQuotes

Sam
Sam: I come over for a little action, and I'm stuck in the middle of Star Wars.

30Sam QuotesQuotes

Sam
Sam: Should we strip down to our smiles here and show the couch a good time?

31Sam & Cliff QuotesQuotes

Sam & Cliff
Sam: Can we please just talk about anything besides this damned bet?
Cliff: Yeah. Okay, how about this? What would, uh, Metropolis be like if Superman retired? Oops! One thing wrong with that scenario. Superman gives a damn.



32Sam Malone QuotesQuotes

Sam Malone
Sam Malone: If I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

33Sam Malone QuotesQuotes

Sam Malone
Sam Malone: When I was about 6, I made my dad breakfast in bed on father's day. I was really proud of myself. All he could say was the eggs were too dry, and toast was too light.



34Woody & Norm QuotesQuotes

Woody & Norm
Woody: You know, Darth Vader cannot be Luke Skywalker's father. They don't have the same last name.
Norm: That's right, Woody. I'd better call out the Imperial Guards.
Woody: Stop it, Mr. Peterson. You're scaring me.

35Woody & SamQuotesQuotes

Woody & Sam
Woody: Did you ever have a trademark, Sam?
Sam: Shut up and leave me alone.
Woody: Actually, Sam, that's more of a motto.


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