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| 1 | Agnes & Hazel    | Quotes | Quotes |
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Agnes & Hazel
Agnes: And over here, there is - just two miles - a vegan donut shop.
Hazel: Why would anyone do that to a perfectly good donut?
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| 2 | Allison | Quotes | Quotes |
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Allison
Allison: All right, well, let's Brady Bunch this bitch.
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| 3 | Allison | Quotes | Quotes |
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Allison
Allison: I heard a rumor.
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| 4 | Cha-Cha | Quotes | Quotes |
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Cha-Cha
Cha-Cha: Time travel's a bitch.
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| 5 | Dale Chedder | Quotes | Quotes |
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Dale Chedder
Dale Chedder: By any chance is your movie called, Small Town Cop Falls for Hollywood Superstar's Bullshit?
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| 6 | Diego | Quotes | Quotes |
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Diego
Diego: Oh yeah, mojo. It's just you and me. Show me what you got.
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| 7 | Diego & Allison | Quotes | Quotes |
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Diego & Allison
Diego: You know I'm a great therapist. They call me Dr. Fuego.
Allison: No one calls you that.
Diego: They should though. That shit sounds badass.
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| 8 | Diego & Allison | Quotes | Quotes |
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Diego & Allison
Diego: You remember that vigilante shit I used to do?
Allison: Yeah, bargain Batman.
Diego: Smartass. You know, you guys all laugh, but that shit helped me, man. Kicking assholes in their assholes is like therapy, but for cool people.
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| 9 | Diego & Dr. Moncton | Quotes | Quotes |
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Diego & Dr. Moncton
Diego: I'ma grown-ass man, Dr. Moncton.
Dr. Moncton: Who still defines himself in opposition to his father. His dead father. That isn't really defining yourself, is it, Diego?
Diego: Yeah, why don't you tell that to Luke Skywalker? I know you don't get it, but that is an excellent reference.
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| 10 | Dr. Gene Thibodeau | Quotes | Quotes |
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Dr. Gene Thibodeau
Dr. Gene Thibodeau: Hey. (shoots guy in the head) ...knew he'd be a bleeder. Head the size of Jupiter.
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| 11 | Elliot Gussman & Luther | Quotes | Quotes |
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Elliot Gussman & Luther
Elliot Gussman: My wife left me for my best friend on our tenth anniversary.
Luther: Don't worry, okay? She'll be dead in seven days. We all will.
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| 12 | Elliott Gussman & Five | Quotes | Quotes |
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Elliott Gussman & Five
Elliott Gussman: Who's Diego?
Five: Imagine Batman, then aim lower.
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| 13 | Five | Quotes | Quotes |
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Five
Five: Eat shit, Ape man.
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| 14 | Five | Quotes | Quotes |
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Five
Five: I am the four freaking horsemen. The apocalypse is coming.
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| 15 | Five | Quotes | Quotes |
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Five
Five: One perfect timeline, and the moment we come into existence... boom! Shattered to an infinite number of alternate timelines in an infinite loop of time as we try and save the world... How many times was it again?
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| 16 | Five | Quotes | Quotes |
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Five
Five: The world ends in eight days. I have no idea how to stop it.
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| 17 | Gene & Abigail | Quotes | Quotes |
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Gene & Abigail
Gene: Someone can't take a hint.
Abigail: This all could have been so simple.
 
 
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| 18 | Grace & Sir Reginald Hargreeves | Quotes | Quotes |
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Grace & Sir Reginald Hargreeves
Grace: Are you involved in something nefarious?
Sir Reginald Hargreeves: Quite often. Did you have something more specific in mind?
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| 19 | The Handler | Quotes | Quotes |
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The Handler
The Handler: Herb? This is a joke, right? I've dropped turds bigger than Herb.
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| 20 | The Handler | Quotes | Quotes |
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The Handler
The Handler: Que sera sera.
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| 21 | Hazel | Quotes | Quotes |
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Hazel
Hazel: If you wanna live, come with me.
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| 22 | Jayme | Quotes | Quotes |
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Jayme
Jayme: Suck it, squid boy.
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| 23 | Jean & Gene | Quotes | Quotes |
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Jean & Gene
Jean: They got to you, didn't they? The nonbelievers.
Gene: Stop talking, Jean.
Jean: Don't you talk to me like that, Gene Thibedeau. I brought you into this work.
Gene: You're upsetting our followers.
Jean: I taught you the truth about the Cleanse. Without me, he'd just be some sniveling little mama's boy trying to finish his dissertation... Who are you?
 
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| 24 | Klaus | Quotes | Quotes |
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Klaus
Klaus: Best funeral ever.
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| 25 | Klaus | Quotes | Quotes |
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Klaus
Klaus: Eternal peace is probably overrated.
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| 26 | Klaus | Quotes | Quotes |
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Klaus
Klaus: I pronounce you married as shit - viva la apocalypse!
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| 27 | Klaus | Quotes | Quotes |
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Klaus
Klaus: Nobody's coming for you. You gotta fight for your right to live. You can do this. Find the warrior. Find Bruce Lee. Find... Uma Thurman.
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| 28 | Lila | Quotes | Quotes |
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Lila
Lila: Time travel wise, I don't really get this whole subway thing. I'm much more of a DeLorean kind of person, yeah?
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| 29 | Lila | Quotes | Quotes |
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Lila
Lila: Touch that horn again, and I'll drag you out of this Land Rover and disconnect your brain stem. Do you understand me?
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| 30 | Luther | Quotes | Quotes |
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Luther
Luther: You know, my dad died too. He left me on the moon.
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| 31 | Old Five | Quotes | Quotes |
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Old Five
Old Five: Whatever you do, don't save the world.
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| 32 | Quinn | Quotes | Quotes |
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Quinn
Quinn: How about I put a hole in that jacket?
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| 33 | Raymond Chestnut | Quotes | Quotes |
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Raymond Chestnut
Raymond Chestnut: Okay, Wonder Woman's got powers, but no one can see them, how convenient.
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| 34 | Sir Reginald Hargreeves | Quotes | Quotes |
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Sir Reginald Hargreeves
Sir Reginald Hargreeves: I told you not to open the container.
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| 35 | Sir Reginald Hargreeves & Klaus | Quotes | Quotes |
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Sir Reginald Hargreeves & Klaus
Sir Reginald Hargreeves: We can't change the past, but we can confront it. Here, your gift became your nightmare. A man is not a man until he slays the demons of his youth.
Klaus: Oh yeah. Good one, Obi-Wang, but my demons are literal.
Sir Reginald Hargreeves: All the more reason to face them.
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| 36 | Sloane & Luthor | Quotes | Quotes |
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Sloane & Luthor
Sloane: Were you part of it?
Luther: Of what?
Sloane: Ambushing us with Superman's grandpa?
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| 37 | Viktor | Quotes | Quotes |
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Viktor
Viktor: Well, that was a weird fuckin' town.
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