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| 1 | College Guy   | Quotes | Quotes |
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College Guy
College Guy: How's my little cheerleader?
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| 2 | College Guy | Quotes | Quotes |
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College Guy
College Guy: It's so nice to be able to talk to a girl and not have to ask what's your major... So, when you go to college what subjects do you think you'll study?
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| 3 | College Guy | Quotes | Quotes |
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College Guy
College Guy: Save the speeches for Malcolm X. I just wanna get laid.
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| 4 | Father Ripper | Quotes | Quotes |
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Father Ripper
Father Ripper: Heather Duke underlined a lot of things in this copy of Moby Dick but I believe the word eskimo underlined all by itself is the key to understanding Heather's pain. On the surface Heather was the vivacious young lady we all knew Heather to be, but her soul was in Antarctica. Freezing with the knowledge of the way fellow teenagers can be cruel, the way parents and be unresponsive and, as she writes so eloquently in her suicide note, the way that life can suck. We'll all miss Sherwood's little eskimo. Let's just hope she's rubbing noses with Jesus.
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| 5 | Father Ripper | Quotes | Quotes |
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Father Ripper
Father Ripper: I blame not Heather but rather a society that tells its youth the answers can be found in the MTV video games. We must pray that the other teen-agers of Sherwood Ohio know the name of that righteous dude that can solve their problems. It's Jesus Christ and he's in the book.
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| 6 | Heather Chandler | Quotes | Quotes |
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Heather Chandler
Heather Chandler (suicide note): You might think what I've done is shocking. To me, though, suicide is the natural answer to the myriad of problems life has given me. People think that just because you're beautiful and popular life is easy and fun. No one understood I had feelings too. I die knowing no one knew the real me.
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| 7 | Heather Chandler | Quotes | Quotes |
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Heather Chandler
Heather Chandler: Monday morning, you're history. I'll tell everyone about tonight. Transfer to Washington. Transfer to Jefferson. No one at Westerburg's going to let you play their reindeer games.
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| 8 | Heather Chandler | Quotes | Quotes |
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Heather Chandler
Heather Chandler: Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Teresa?
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| 9 | Heather Chandler & Veronica Sawyer | Quotes | Quotes |
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Heather Chandler & Veronica Sawyer
Heather Chandler: You were nothing before you met me! You were playing Barbies with Betty Finn! You were a Brownie, you were a Bluebird, you were a Girl Scout Cookie! I got you into a Remington party! What's my thanks? It's on the hallway carpet. I get paid in puke!
Veronica Sawyer: Lick it up, baby. Lick. It. Up.
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| 10 | Heather Duke | Quotes | Quotes |
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Heather Duke
Heather Duke (suicide note): Life Sucks.
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| 11 | Jason Dean | Quotes | Quotes |
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Jason Dean
Jason Dean: Do you take German? These are Ich Luge bullets. My grandfather snared a shit load of 'em back in WWII. They're like tranquilizers only they break the surface of the skin enough to cause a little blood but no real damage.
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| 12 | Jason Dean | Quotes | Quotes |
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Jason Dean
Jason Dean: Greetings and Salutations.
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| 13 | Jason Dean | Quotes | Quotes |
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Jason Dean
Jason Dean: Pretend I did blow up the school. All the schools. Now that you're dead what are you gonna do with your life?
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| 14 | Jason Dean | Quotes | Quotes |
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Jason Dean
Jason Dean: Thank you. That was my first game of strip croquet.
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| 15 | Kurt Kelly | Quotes | Quotes |
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Kurt Kelly
Kurt Kelly (suicide note): Ram and I died the day we realized we could never reveal our forbidden love to an uncaring and ununderstanding world. The joy we shared in each others arms was greater than any touchdown. Yet we were forced to live the lie of sexist beer guzzling jock assholes.
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| 16 | Kurt Kelly | Quotes | Quotes |
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Kurt Kelly
Kurt Kelly: When I get that feelin', I need sexual healin'.
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| 17 | Kurt's Dad | Quotes | Quotes |
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Kurt's Dad
Kurt's Dad: If there's any way you can hear me, Kurt buddy, I don't care that you were really some pansy. You're my own flesh and blood. You make me proud. My son's a homosexual and I love him. I love my dead gay son.
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| 18 | Policeman | Quotes | Quotes |
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Policeman
Officer McCord: The quarterback buggering the linebacker. what a waste.
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| 19 | Policeman | Quotes | Quotes |
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Policeman
Officer Milner: Oh the humanity.
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| 20 | Ram | Quotes | Quotes |
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Ram
Ram: So should I just whip it out?
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| 21 | Veronica Sawyer | Quotes | Quotes |
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Veronica Sawyer
Veronica Sawyer: Dear Diary, Last Entry. No one can stop J.D. Not the FBI, the CIA or the PTA. He once told me that the extreme always makes an impression. Well, now it's my turn. Let's see how the son of a bitch reacts to a suicide he didn't perform himself.
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| 22 | Veronica Sawyer | Quotes | Quotes |
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Veronica Sawyer
Veronica Sawyer: Get off my bed you fucking psycho. You think you're a rebel? Do you actually think you're a rebel? You're not a rebel. You're fucking psychotic.
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| 23 | Veronica Sawyer | Quotes | Quotes |
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Veronica Sawyer
Veronica Sawyer: On the count of three guys... One. Two.
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| 24 | Veronica Sawyer | Quotes | Quotes |
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Veronica Sawyer
Veronica Sawyer: That's it, we're breaking up.
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| 25 | Westerberg High School Students | Quotes | Quotes |
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Westerberg High School Students
Westerberg High School Students (suicide note): We students of Westerberg High will die today. Our burning bodies will be the ultimate protest to a society that degrades us. Fuck you all.
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