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| 1 | Al Bundy  | Quotes | Quotes |
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Al Bundy
Al Bundy: Ah, Peg. You're down here. Damn. Then I was dreaming you ran off with the dwarf down at the bookstore, and I was living in sin with a Playboy centerfold and her eight friends who could speak but chose not to.
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| 2 | Al Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Al Bundy
Al Bundy: Dad had one great dream, a dream that had been handed down from generation to generation of male Bundys: to build their own room and live separately from their wives. Sadly, they all failed.
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| 3 | Al Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Al Bundy
Al Bundy: Everybody, I have an announcement. Your happiness. sickens me. Everybody but me is looking at good times. But for me it's been one long continuous year since I got married. Actually, one long month. Helluary.
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| 4 | Al Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Al Bundy
Al Bundy: Feed me, or feed me to something. I just want to be part of the food chain.
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| 5 | Al Bundy  | Quotes | Quotes |
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Al Bundy
Al Bundy: I don't smell no food. If you expect me to pleasure you, I need what Robert Mitchum needs.
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| 6 | Al Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Al Bundy
Al Bundy: I don't want more people in this house. I want less. I want my life back, damn it. I want my youth. I want my hair. I want this room. It's really nice. Are you thinking of moving out, son?
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| 7 | Al Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Al Bundy
Al Bundy: I'll never play football like I wanted to. I'll never know the touch of a beautiful woman. And I'll never know the joy of driving through the city without a bag over my head. But I'm not a loser. Because, despite it all, me and every other guy who'll never be what they wanted to be, is out there, being what we don't want to be forty hours a week for life. And the fact that I haven't put a gun in my mouth you pudding of a woman makes me a winner!
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| 8 | Al Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Al Bundy
Al Bundy: Kelly, when I was a kid, there were lots of parties I wasn't invited to. I showed up anyway. I stood there with a big smile on my face, and said, 'I'm here!' and headed right for the food. Sure, they didn't want me there, but I had a great time. And if they didn't, so what? The point is if you want to be there, be there. Even if they hate you. You're a Bundy. Start acting like one.
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| 9 | Al Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Al Bundy
Al Bundy: Look, Steve. Why don't you do this - go home, wake up Marcy and say, "Hey, I lost my money. I screwed up, it won't happen again, and what's for supper?" That's what being a man is all about, Steve. Making mistakes and not caring.
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| 10 | Al Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Al Bundy
Al Bundy: Nobody sticks Al Bundy with unwanted kids except his wife.
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| 11 | Al Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Al Bundy
Al Bundy: Peg, I don't wanna go to our high school reunion! Can't we just forget the good times and get on with our lives?
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| 12 | Al Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Al Bundy
Al Bundy: Son, let this be a lesson to you: never do tequila shooters within a country mile of a marriage chapel.
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| 13 | Al Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Al Bundy
Al Bundy: There are no trimesters. There's actually just one long forty year-mester. It just seems less painful if you break it into stages. There's the fat stage, the 'I'll only eat ribs from one place a hundred miles away' stage, and, Lord in heaven, the horny stage.
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| 14 | Al Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Al Bundy
Al Bundy: There. Right there, Peg, is the problem with America. We've lost our spirit of self-reliance! Something's broken, call someone. Something's leaking, call someone. One of the kids suffers a ruptured appendix, call someone! Whatever happened to rugged American manhood?
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| 15 | Al Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Al Bundy
Al Bundy: Those articles that say married couples have sex every month are just sensationalistic lies perpetrated on the public to sell magazines. It's hooey I tell you, hooey.
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| 16 | Al Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Al Bundy
Al Bundy: Well, according to my research, the cost of raising a baby from birth to college is approximately seven hundred and eighty thousand dollars. Thanks to my actually selling a shoe last week, I'm proud to say we're now just short seven hundred eighty thousand dollars. Thank you.
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| 17 | Al Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Al Bundy
Al Bundy: Well, I guess there's nothing left to do now but pick out the dress you're going to wear when Dan Rather asks you why your son shot the President.
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| 18 | Al Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Al Bundy
Al Bundy: We're gonna go where people pretend to want to go when they can't afford to go someplace good. We're gonna see America. We take no map. We'll follow the sun. Stay in cheap motels and steal what we need along the way. We go west, past the cheese factories, where the air is fresh, the sky is big, and a man can still kill his dinner with his car. Guys, tomorrow we put the pedal to the metal and we ride with the wind.
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| 19 | Al Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Al Bundy
Al Bundy: What was I thinking when I said, "I do?" I'd already had sex with her! I didn't need that again!
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| 20 | Al Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Al Bundy
Al Bundy: Yeah, doggone it. If we could only be comfortable with our age like you darn gals. You know, I mean, in the morning you go into the bathroom, a little blush, a little mascara and voila! You got an old woman scared of rain. Then you try and clean and jerk your breasts into a bra, ease some exercise pants over that front and back belly, go down to the market and flirt with the bag boy. I guess what I'm trying to say is it's just pretty pathetic when we guys try to cling to our youth.
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| 21 | Al Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Al Bundy
Al Bundy: You know what I would do if I was President? I'd take a big empty state, that nobody's using, y'know, like Idaho, and I'd pack every pregnant woman in the country into donut trucks, and convoy 'em all to Boise. And since Idaho means nothing anyhow, I'd change the name to Pregnaho.
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| 22 | Al Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Al Bundy
Al Bundy: You're my wife. I will not talk to you while I have a TV.
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| 23 | Bud Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bud Bundy
Bud Bundy: The babes will be calling plenty soon. I'm a senior now. A mover. A shaker. I'm the man. I've got the juice. Yup, when I was a freshman, they flushed my head down the toilet. When I was a sophomore, they flushed my head down the toilet. When I was a junior, I was getting cool, so they let me flush it myself. But now I'm a senior. And ready to rule. This year he's back, he's cool, he's dry.
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| 24 | Bud Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bud Bundy
Bud Bundy: Well, when I get my degree, from an accredited community college, I might add, I'll be the one with the Lucky Charms, my friends. And I'll be eating them out of the bra cups of my own private breakfast treat, Monique. Here's to the future.
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| 25 | Bud Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Bud Bundy
Bud: Bundy's a name you earn. Our emotional scars run so deep you can almost see them.
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| 26 | Bud's full name.  | Trivia | Name Game |
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Bud's full name.
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Budrick Franklin Bundy |
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Buford Friedrich Bundy |
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Buckley Frederick Bundy |
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| 27 | The Bundy family's address? | Trivia | Questions |
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The Bundy family's address?
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9674 Memory Lane |
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9674 Mockingbird Lane |
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9674 Jeopardy Lane |
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| 28 | Jefferson D'Arcy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Jefferson D'Arcy
Jefferson D'Arcy: I don't want to live with Marcy anymore. She wants sex all the time. I mean, sex with your pregnant wife is like putting gas in the tank of a car you already wrecked.
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| 29 | Kelly Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Kelly Bundy
Kelly Bundy: He'll be here. When my daddy says he'll do something, he... No, that's my friend Marsha's daddy. But when my daddy puts his mind to something, he... No, that's Carolyn's daddy. Well, my daddy dear, he knows he's still number one, oh girls just want to have fun. No, that's Cyndi Lauper's daddy. Hmm.
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| 30 | Kelly Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Kelly Bundy
Kelly Bundy: Remember, attraction is a three-way street. Or is it a one-way tunnel? Hmm, in any case, I do know it's a four-lane highway, but it takes two to use the car-pool lane. I guess what I'm trying to say is, what the younger generation has learned is that there's nothing for us to watch on CBS, and you've got to be yourself. A man has to love you for you, not some costume. He's gotta love who you are.
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| 31 | Kelly's character's name on the local ex... | Trivia | Name Game |
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Kelly's character's name on the local exterminator commercial.
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The X-terminator |
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The Terminator |
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The Verminator |
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| 32 | Marcie's favorite childhood doll. | Trivia | Questions |
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Marcie's favorite childhood doll.
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Cabbage Patch Patty |
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Chatty Kathy |
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Barbie |
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| 33 | Marcy D'Arcy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Marcy D'Arcy
Marcy D'Arcy: Oh, it's too bad some men don't know how to give up their sports gracefully instead of lingering on like big babies.
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| 34 | Miss Weenie Tots Contest | Events | Beauty Pageants |
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Miss Weenie Tots Contest
Kelly hosts a beauty pageant sponsored by the Weenie Tots corporation.
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| 35 | New Market Mallers | Sports | Baseball Teams |
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New Market Mallers
Baseball team for the mall where Al works.
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| 36 | Panthers | Sports | School Mascots |
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Panthers
Polk High School mascot.
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| 37 | Peggy Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Peggy Bundy
Peggy Bundy: Al, do you know I cooked four hours for that five minutes of sex we had? It just isn't worth it.
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| 38 | Peggy Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Peggy Bundy
Peggy Bundy: Now look, Al. You said you wouldn't take me to prom. I said fine. You said you'd only be a shoe salesman for a little while until you got your feet off the ground. I said fine. You said, "I don't know what's wrong, I guess I'm just tired." I said fine. I'm not saying fine this time, Al.
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| 39 | Peggy Bundy | Quotes | Quotes |
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Peggy Bundy
Peggy Bundy: Sooo. we've certainly learned a lot about each other. We have no opinions on politics, religion, science, starving people, nuclear holocaust or recycling. The only thing we seem to feel strongly about is we both hate that painting behind Jay Leno.
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| 40 | Peggy's maiden name. | Trivia | Name Game |
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Peggy's maiden name.
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| 41 | Rock band that performed at Bud's house ... | Trivia | Questions |
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Rock band that performed at Bud's house after he won a contest.
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Aerosmith |
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Anthrax |
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Metallica |
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| 42 | Untitled | Themes | Flatliners 2 |
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 | | #27513b | #18ac5e | #000000 |
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