A FREQUENT APPEARER IN THE FICTION EMPIRE

Total Record Results: 37
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Record Name
Source
Group 
Category
Subcategory
1JerryTHE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 1974 FilmOtherQuotesQuotes

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE
Jerry
Jerry: That's the last goddamn hitchhiker I ever pick up.


2Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: Oh. I'm watching my height. My doctor doesn't want me to get any taller.


3Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesBBBVideoTV-Comedy

SEINFELD
Jerry
The show within the show based on Jerry's life that Jerry and George sell to NBC, starring Jerry Seinfeld.


4Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: Oh look Elaine, the black and white cookie. I love the black and white. Two races of flavor living side by side in harmony. It's a wonderful thing, isn't it?


5Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. It's too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away!


6Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: My idea of the perfect living room would be the bridge on the starship Enterprise. You know what I mean? Big chair, nice screen, remote control. That's why Star Trek really was the ultimate male fantasy. Just hurtling through space in your living room watching TV. The aliens were always dropping in because Kirk was the only one that had the big screen. They'd come over Friday nights. Klingon boxing. Got to be there.


7Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: If only you could put your mind to something worthwhile. You're like Lex Luthor.


8Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: Hey, how you doing, buddy? You need anything? You want me to go out, get you a Superman comic?


9Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: It's tough to do a good deed. Just look at your professional good deed doers. Your lone rangers, your Superman, your Batman, your Spider-Man, your Elastic Man. They are all wearing disguises, masks over their faces. Secret identities. Don't want people to know who they are. It's too much aggravation. "Superman, thanks for saving my life, but did you have to come through my wall? I'm renting here, I've got a security deposit. What am I supposed to do?"


10Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: I'm a man who respects a good coma.


11Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: You know, it's a very interesting situation. Here you have a job that could help you get girls. But you also have a relationship. But if you get rid of the relationship so you can get girls you lose the job... You see the irony?


12Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably, happy birthday? No such thing.


13Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: This guy's belching out vitamins... and this whole Justice League, Batman, Green Lantern, Wonder Woman. You mean to tell me Superman can't cover everything? For crying out loud, he's Superman.


14Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: Women don't respect salad eaters.


15Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: What in god's name is going on here? Is she wearing the same thing over and over again? Or does she have a closet full of these, like Superman? I've got to unlock this mystery.


16Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: Hi, I'm Jerry. You might not know it to look at me, but I can run really, really fast.


17Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: Two hundred seats on a plane, I gotta wind up next to Yukon Jack and his dog Cujo. Shut up! One more day and you are pound bound!


18Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: The woman had an orgasm under false pretenses. That's sexual perjury!


19Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: It seems like whenever these office people call you in for a meeting, the whole thing is about the sitting down. I would really like to sit down with you. I think we need to sit down and talk. Why don't you come in, and we'll sit down. Well, sometimes the sitting down doesn't work. People get mad at the sitting.You know, we've been sitting here for I don't know how long. How much longer are we just going to sit here? I'll tell you what I think we should do. I think we should all sleep on it. Maybe we're not getting down low enough. Maybe if we all lie down, then our brains will work.


20Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: Uptight? Let's all just have a big pee party. Hey everybody, grab a bucket. We're going up to Jerry's. It's a pee party.


21Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: George, we're trying to have a civilization here.


22Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: Where do you think this relationship is? If you are thinking of instituting an open-door urination policy, let me disabuse you of that notion right now, my friend.


23Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: That is one tough monkey.


24Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: Booing and hissing are not part of the show. You boo puppets. You hiss villains in silent movies.


25Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: I'm not happy, I'm not lucky, and I don't go. If anything, I'm sad-stop-unlucky.


26Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: In the whole world right now there's maybe three emergencies. Why would you think on this entire planet that you're one of those three?


27Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: If I like their race, how can that be racist?


28Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: Holy Cow!


29Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: Do your thing there where you lie to everyone.


30Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: It's a nipple. A little round circular protuberance. What's the big deal? See everybody's got them. See, I got them.


31JerrySEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: You know, they're doing wonderful things at mental institutions these days. I'd be happy to set up a meet and greet.


32Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: This woman is bending my mind into a pretzel.


33Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: There's too much urinary freedom in this society. I'm proud to hold it in. It builds character.


34Jerry SEINFELD 1989 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

SEINFELD
Jerry
Jerry: People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.


35Jerry TWIN PEAKS 1990 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

TWIN PEAKS
Jerry
Jerry: All work and no play make Ben and Jerry dull boys.



36Jerry REVELATION 2001 FilmOtherQuotesQuotes

CHILDREN OF THE CORN 7: REVELATION
Jerry
Jerry: Where'd you two come from?



37Jerry THE WALKING DEAD 2010 TV SeriesOtherQuotesQuotes

THE WALKING DEAD
Jerry
Jerry: Shitballs!



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