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| 1 | Joe Goldberg  | YOU 2014 Literature | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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Joe Goldberg
Joe Goldberg: Two days ago, you started stressing about Halloween. You were going to be Princess Leia (you really are a flirt), and you were taking pictures of yourself and your friends and getting drunk a lot. You did not ask me to be Luke Skywalker, and going forward, we are gonna have some fun fights about how to celebrate Halloween. |
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| 2 | Joe Goldberg | YOU 2014 Literature | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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| YOU
Joe Goldberg
Joe Goldberg: Suspense is good for people. It makes us stronger. This is why America loves Stephen King so much, he keeps us on the edge of our seats until it hurts. He also knows that all people, whether groundskeepers at Fenway or privileged young fucks, are capable of going insane if placed under the right circumstances. Stephen King would appreciate my work with Benji and I smile as I lock the door. |
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| 3 | Joe Goldberg | YOU 2014 Literature | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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| YOU
Joe Goldberg
Joe Goldberg: The after-work depressed book buyers are coming steady, going home to their dungeons to let Stephen King distract them from their pathetic, lonely lives. |
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| 4 | Joe Goldberg | YOU 2014 Literature | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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| YOU
Joe Goldberg
Joe Goldberg: The next asshole is rummaging through his wallet for his credit card to buy his Stephen King so he can (fingers crossed) read about a sicko doing sick things because he's too much of a pussy to do all the sick things he wants to do, things he's probably wanted to do since he was a kid. |
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| 5 | Joe Goldberg | YOU 2014 Literature | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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| YOU
Joe Goldberg
Joe Goldberg: I love Stephen King as much as any red rum drinking American, but I resent the fact that I, the bookseller, am his bitch. |
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| 6 | Joe Goldberg | YOU 2014 Literature | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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| YOU
Joe Goldberg
Joe Goldberg: Doctor Sleep turns my shop into a fucking Church of Stephen and I have no room to think about you, prepare for you. We are inundated with Kingophiles, couples trying to save their marriage with a book club, older fans who have waited forever, young punks who want to check into an independent bookstore on Facebook, freaks who highlight the bad parts and yearn to reeanact, withdrawn dullards longing for the companionship promised by a page-turner, women who want more out of a book than a feisty fuck with a commitmentphobic banker. |
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| 7 | Joe Goldberg | YOU 2014 Literature | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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| YOU
Joe Goldberg
Joe Goldberg: The day is against me. I forgot that Stephen King has a new book out, Doctor Sleep, the long-awaited follow-up to The Shining. New King means crowds, even a week or two after the book's release-people are lazy-and hordes of shoppers giddy to be reunited with Danny Torrance. |
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| 8 | Joe Goldberg | YOU 2014 Literature | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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| YOU
Joe Goldberg
Joe Goldberg: No, you're not like those girls. You don't stage Faulkner and your jeans hang loose and you're too sun-kissed for Stephen King and too untrendy for Heidi Julavits and who, who will you buy? |
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| 9 | Joe Goldberg | YOU 2014 Literature | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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| YOU
Joe Goldberg
Joe Goldberg: 6:08 and the next dude in line is buying the new King and The Shining just to be bold-he calls The Shining a prequel and I want to cut his face. |
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| 10 | Joe Goldberg | YOU 2014 Literature | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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| YOU
Joe Goldberg
Joe Goldberg: My, you have a way of making me do things I don't normally do. I haven't dressed up for Halloween since the third grade (Spider-Man), and though it's gotten harder over the years, I've managed to silently protest that whore of a holiday for the bulk of my life. Yet here I am in a mothball-scented dressing room at Bridgeport Costumes. |
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| 11 | Joe Goldberg | YOU 2014 Literature | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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| YOU
Joe Goldberg
Joe Goldberg: A proper cremation requires time and chemicals, but I think I did well, given the circumstances. And I care enough to box him up and bring him home, and most people in my position would leave him out on the island. I crack a smile because when you think about it, you're not really Princess Leia (your buns were much smaller), and I'm not really an undertaker. There's a symmetry of some kind, and I like it. |
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| 12 | Joe Goldberg | YOU 2014 Literature | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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| YOU
Joe Goldberg
Joe Goldberg: You look at me and I nod and you crumble in my arms, and it looks like we're hugging, another young couple off to IKEA to get feathers for the nest and eat hyped-up meatballs, and nobody can hear you crying except for me. You try to wiggle away but I hold you, and your big Portman eyes are glossy and your cheeks are red and there's an old couple across the way and the dude nods at me like I'm Captain America and we're almost there and you're wiping your eyes. |
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| 13 | Joe Goldberg  | YOU 2018 TV Series | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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 | YOU
Joe Goldberg
Joe Goldberg: Pro Tip of the day: Screen your calls when you're trying to burn a body because it turns out, things slip out that you didn't actually want to say. |
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| 14 | Joe Goldberg | YOU 2018 TV Series | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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| YOU
Joe Goldberg
Joe Goldberg: People trying to buy some sort of meaning in their lives with $60 candles and sustainable lamps. |
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| 15 | Joe Goldberg | YOU 2018 TV Series | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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| YOU
Joe Goldberg
Joe Goldberg: Well, hello there. Who are you? Based on your vibe, a student. Your blouse is loose. You're not here to be ogled, but those bracelets, they jangle. You like a little attention. Okay, I bite. You search the books. Fiction, "F" through "K". Now... hmm, you're not the standard insecure nymph hunting for Faulkner you'll never finish. Too sun-kissed for Stephen King. Who will you buy? |
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| 16 | Joe Goldberg | YOU 2018 TV Series | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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| YOU
Joe Goldberg
Joe Goldberg: I guess I'm bad at picking good people. But I'm good at catching bad people redhanded. |
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| 17 | Joe Goldberg | YOU 2018 TV Series | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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| YOU
Joe Goldberg
Joe Goldberg: Turns out parenthood is Groundhog Day as written by Jean-Paul Sartre. |
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| 18 | Joe Goldberg | YOU 2018 TV Series | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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| YOU
Joe Goldberg
Joe Goldberg: She might be more attracted to Theo than she's willing to admit, but she's also right and distracted, which is necessary to keep her from Spidey-sensing you. |
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| 19 | Joe Goldberg  | YOU 2018 TV Series | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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| YOU
Joe Goldberg
Joe Goldberg: Not my circus! Not my monkeys! Not my circus! Not my monkeys! |
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| 20 | Joe Goldberg | YOU 2018 TV Series | Other | Quotes | Quotes |
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| YOU
Joe Goldberg
Joe Goldberg: Am I horrified or impressed? |
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