Fiction Empire

America's Top Designer
Competitive reality TV show that Patrick films an audition tape for.

The Artificial Hip-sters

As Far Away as You Can Get Store

Music-A Cappella

The Artificial Hip-sters
Choir singing group.

Stores-misc

As Far Away as You Can Get Store
Store Charlie makes up in the airport.

Ass, You Lick It
Cleo starts a drama department in prison, with plans to perform Shakespeare inspired works.

Beverly Hills Jewelers

Apparel

Jewelry Stores

Beverly Hills Jewelers
Suspicious charge on Charlie's credit card account, from when Charlie bought an expensive watch while drunk.

Big Guzzle
Anger Management version of Big Gulp fountain drink size that Charlie's new girlfriend drinks.

Big Old Funky Butt
Funk song, either on the mix CD Now That's What I Call Funk Volume 3, or Now That's What I Call Funk Volume 4.

Bits N Pieces
Breakfast cereal product on shelf behind Lacey during her new modeling job at Mom Mart.

Bonetown Express
Joke Jordan makes about what Charlie was going to say about her. Charlie: "What exactly was I going to say?" Jordan: "That I Gotta have it. That I wear Velcro clothes for easy access. That I like to get my ticket punched for the Bonetown Express. All aboard!" Charlie: "I would never say any of that. Except maybe Bonetown Express. That was kind of clever."

The Boy Who Couldn't Cry

Charlie's World Famous Triple Brandy Fla...

Theater Productions

The Boy Who Couldn't Cry
The name of the play Charlie's prison patient Wayne writes.

Captain Sugrrr
Breakfast cereal product on shelf behind Lacey during her new modeling job at Mom Mart.

Champies
Breakfast cereal product on shelf behind Lacey during her new modeling job at Mom Mart.

Charlie Goodson

Conversations with Idiots

Mixed Drinks

Charlie's World Famous Triple Brandy Flaming Ice Cream Shooters of Death
You no longer have to choose between getting drunk and having dessert.

Chilis
After mistaking a Rolling Stones cover band called Ruby Tuesdays featuring a bunch of guys who work at Ruby Tuesdays for the code name for a secret show by the actual Rolling Stones, Sean wonders if Chilis is actual the code name for the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Cocoa Spheres
Breakfast cereal from various episodes.

ConEx
Joke Charlie makes after accidentally revealing that the plumber is an ex-con. Charlie: "Did I say ex-con? I meant to say that he works for ConEx. It's like FedEx, but only in Connecticut."

Books-Biography

Conversations with Idiots
Book Brett the bartender says she's writing.

Corn Shooters
Breakfast cereal product on shelf behind Lacey during her new modeling job at Mom Mart.

Crispy Crunchy Cubes
Breakfast cereal product on shelf behind Lacey during her new modeling job at Mom Mart.

Cuckooville Crazy Hut

Dallas Book Depository Sun Times

Healthcare

Therapy

Cuckooville Crazy Hut
Company name that the receptionist - and Charlie's probation officer's daughter - mentions when answering the phone at her father's office because she thought her friend was calling back. "Thank you for calling Cuckooville Crazy Hut. It's probably your mom's fault."

Dateline: Murder in a Van

Newspapers-Times

Dallas Book Depository Sun Times
When Charlie has Ed pretend to be a reporter interviewing Will, he tells Will that Ed is from the Dallas Book Depository Sun Times.

TV-News Shows

Dateline: Murder in a Van
Joke Jordan makes about Dateline. Jordan: "They should really call that show Dateline: Murder in a Van."

Davon's Trophies

Distinguished Gentlemen Executive Presti...

Sporting Goods Stores

Davon's Trophies
Where Nolan buys Ed's trophy.

Determination
Pinball game Charlie rattles off about during a drunken haze.

Dirty Filthy Liar
Beer that Charlie offers his father. Charlie: "Can l get you a beer?" Martin: "Sure." Charlie: "What do you got?" Martin: "Well, let's see. l've got Dirty Filthy Liar, My Dad's a Bastard, and a lager from Holland." Martin: "Still haven't gotten any Bud Light, huh?"

Nightlife

Strip Clubs

Distinguished Gentlemen Executive Prestige Club
Strip club Charlies mentions, trying to make Jordan feel better when Sean gets a job at a strip club.

Douche on a Stool
Band name, from Joke Patrick makes to Lacey's music producer boyfriend.

Downward Dog
Yoga studio/franchise opportunity Jen mentions.

Dr. Blitzstein
When Charlie's patients go looking for a new therapist, they visit Dr. Goldfarb, then Dr. Blitzstein, then Dr. Jewsenheimer or something - actually Jewsenhemer, and then Dr. Russell.

Dr. Cody Bullwhip
Ed offers to play a doctor in the video of Lacey coming out of her coma.

Dr. Everett
One of the psychiatrists at Charlie's hearing.

Dr. Goldfarb
When Charlie's patients go looking for a new therapist, they visit Dr. Goldfarb, then Dr. Blitzstein, then Dr. Jewsenheimer or something - actually Jewsenhemer, and then Dr. Russell.

Dr. Higgins
Sex surrogate therapist.

Dr. Jewsenhemer
When Charlie's patients go looking for a new therapist, they visit Dr. Goldfarb, then Dr. Blitzstein, then Dr. Jewsenheimer or something - actually Jewsenhemer, and then Dr. Russell. Dr. Jewsenhemer is also one of the psychiatrists at Charlie's hearing.

Dr. Jordan Denby
Charlie's partner in the study.

Dr. Leslie Moore
Hope's psychopharmacologist.

Dr. Murphy
Charlie's old professor - and new psychiatrist.

Dr. Randy
Marriage counselor / psychic therapist played by Michael Gross.

Dr. Richter
One of the psychiatrists at Charlie's hearing.

Dr. Rita Freudenburger

Fillmore's Ice Cream Shop

Healthcare

Therapy

Dr. Rita Freudenburger

Dr. Russell
When Charlie's patients go looking for a new therapist, they visit Dr. Goldfarb, then Dr. Blitzstein, then Dr. Jewsenheimer/Jewsenhemer, and finally Dr. Russell. Dr. Russell: "I think you two need to do a soul stare in the resolution circle... Stand up, face each other, hold hands, stare into each other's eyes, and apologize with your eyes."

Dr. Woo
Charlie's new new anger management counselor.

Erica's Place
The gift shop where Erica, the virgin, works.

Farm Fresh Milk
Generic milk product.

Fashion Prom

Galaxy-Payson Pharmaceuticals

Dining

Ice Cream Parlors

Fillmore's Ice Cream Shop
Where serial killer Wayne let his victims Clea Lambert go.

Franchise Anonymous
Support group idea that Charlie suggests for Jen.

French Cut
Lingerie store where Nolan gets a new job and then when he gets in trouble for abusing his employee discount buying clothes for Lacey, he tells his manager the clothes are for him. But it turns it his manager is actually a crossdresser and invites Nolan to a crossdressing party.

Fruit 'n Oats
Breakfast cereal.

Fudge Flakes
Breakfast cereal product on shelf behind Lacey during her new modeling job at Mom Mart.

G.I. WAYNE
Joke Charlie makes about making money writing serial killer Wayne's life story - an action figure with super stabbing action.

Gary's Flowers and Donuts

Companies

Pharmaceutical Companies

Galaxy-Payson Pharmaceuticals
Drug company Lacey starts working for. They also make peanut butter and nuclear submarines.

Girls Girls Girls and Wings

Flower Shops

Gary's Flowers and Donuts
Joke Charlie makes when Jordan rejects his peace offerings. Charlie: "So flowers make you sneeze. Donuts make you fat. What else can I possibly get you from Gary's Flowers and Donuts at the end of my street?"

Girls Girls Girls
Strip club that Nolan mentions, where he usually takes his limo passengers who want to go to a strip club.

Nightlife

Strip Clubs

Girls Girls Girls and Wings
Strip club that serves wings that Nolan mentions that gives you moist towelettes before you touch the girls.

Gold Lagger
Beer Charlie and Martin drink.

The Gold People
TV commercial for company that buys gold.

Golden Flakes
Breakfast cereal product on shelf behind Lacey during her new modeling job at Mom Mart.

Grainy-Os
Breakfast cereal product on shelf behind Lacey during her new modeling job at Mom Mart.

The Great Kushal
Famous magician mentions - Charlie convinces Jen goes out with the guy in charge of the grant funding and he does magic tricks for her, says he trained under the Great Kushal.

Green Goddesses

Home Maintenance Services

Maintenance

Green Goddesses
Green cleaning service that employs hot girls - Franchise opportunity Jen mentions.

Hall of Fame of Sex
Joke Charlie makes.

Happy Whiskey Chew
Product Lindsay Lohan endorses. Also referred to as "#1 Happy Whiskey Chew". Slogan: "Yes, Chewing!"

Heartfelt Sap
Movie poster that Charlie finds on the hidden wall behind his stalker's bed. The actor's faces are covered up with pictures of Charlie and his stalker.

Heisler Beer
Beer product created by Independent Studio Services, from various episodes.

Henry Pleads the Fifth

Theater Productions

Henry Pleads the Fifth
Cleo starts a drama department in prison, with plans to perform Shakespeare inspired works.

Hillbilly Hand Fishing

How to Handle Your Dangler

Hillbilly Hand Fishing
Reality TV show.

Hold on to Your Hat
Franchise opportunity Jen mentions.

Hook-up Island

Laugh Your Way to Success

Printed Matter

How to Handle Your Dangler
Pamphlet Jordan hands out at prison - "dangler" is a typo, should have been "anger"

Hump N Pump
Gas station Ed mentions - gas station with hookers that his grandfather owned when he was a pimp.

Hypno Vest
Vest that Ed rents for his wedding at Tux Warehouse.

Jay Mee Potato Chips
Chips Kate eats.

Jennifer Goodson
Jennifer becomes a life coach. Patrick is her only client.

Jockstrap Tequila
Prison alcohol product made by the Latin Lords gang.

Jose Mi Amor
Song, an original Denby by Jordan about Jose Cuervo, that Jordan and Patrick perform at the Alcoholics Anonymous Talent Show.

Kaller Beer
Beer brand.

Kate Wales

Kindred Hearts
Movie poster that Charlie finds on the hidden wall behind his stalker's bed. The actor's faces are covered up with pictures of Charlie and his stalker.

Kwami Limousine
Car service where Nolan works.

The Lacey
Idea for a sandal Patrick comes up with for Lacey's new shoe company.

Leaving Las Vegas: The Musical

Education

Classes

Laugh Your Way to Success
Psychology class Kate mentions.

Now That's What I Call Funk Volume 3

Theater Productions

Leaving Las Vegas: The Musical
The producer of Leaving Las Vegas: The Musical is an alcoholic in the audience at the Alcoholics Anonymous Talent Show.

Lee's Coffee
Coffee shop.

Legalzoom.com
Website Ed consults about the fake lottery ticket Patrick gives him to trick him.

Lizzie
A women-only site where they can rate the men we've been out with. "It's like Yelp for asswipes."

Lobster Truckers
Reality TV show that Patrick mentions.

Manure Blend
Generic bag of manure product from when Jen makes Charlie fill Sean's car up with fertilizer.

McKinley High School
Jordan's high school from various episodes.

The Merry Peasant
Bar where Brett works.

Millennium Filth Can
Garbage dude James St. James' garbage truck.

Mom Mart
Lacey's new modeling job.

Motel Rwanda
Joke Lacey makes when she meets Kwame, the now grown up poor African kid that Nolan's been sponsoring since he was eight years old. Lacey: "I wouldn't mind spending a couple hours with you at the Motel Rwanda."

My Dad's a Bastard
Beer Charlie offers his father. Charlie: "Can l get you a beer?" Martin: "Sure." Charlie: "What do you got?" Martin: "Well, let's see. l've got Dirty Filthy Liar, My Dad's a Bastard, and a lager from Holland." Martin: "Still haven't gotten any Bud Light, huh?"

100

Nate's Diner
Diner in Beloit where Charlie met his slump buster.

101

Nolan-weed
Will smokes the marijuana he finds in the guest bedroom nightstand that Charlie's holding for Nolan. Charlie: "You are not prepared for Nolan-weed.

102

Now That's What I Call Funk Volume 4

Albums

Now That's What I Call Funk Volume 3
Sequel to the real life popular mix CD.

103

Albums

Now That's What I Call Funk Volume 4
Sequel to the real life popular mix CD.

104

Oats & O's
Breakfast cereal product on shelf behind Lacey during her new modeling job at Mom Mart.

105

Orgasm Magazine
Joke Jordan makes while Charlie's meeting with someone about his idea for a prison re-entry program, because he wanted to publish the results of their sex study in Maxim. Jordan: "Selling something to Orgasm Magazine?"

106

The Pain Train
Joke Ed makes when Charlie's father shows up at Charlie's family counseling session. Ed: "Welcome aboard the pain train Charlie Whoo! Whoo!"

107

Parent Air Conditioning

The Perfection Collection

Services

Rental Services

Parent Air Conditioning
Company that rents portable air conditioning units - seen when Linday Lohan filming commercial.

108

The Patrick Heel
Idea for a shoe Patrick comes up with for Lacey's new shoe company.

109

The Patrick Wedge
Idea for a shoe Patrick comes up with for Lacey's new shoe company.

110

The Patrick
Idea for a sandal Patrick comes up with for Lacey's new shoe company.

111

PatrickSinga4U.com
Website Patrick mentions after performing with Jordan at the Alcoholics Anonymous Talent Show.

112

Perfect Sixes
One of the low end strip clubs with open management positions that Charlie mentions to Sean.

113

Apparel

Clothing Products

The Perfection Collection
Patrick's clothing line.

114

Personal Shopper Wars

Pippa Middleton Oven Mitt

Personal Shopper Wars
Patrick's idea for his own hit reality show, hosted by him and Anderson Cooper.

115

Home Furnishing

Kitchen Products

Pippa Middleton Oven Mitt
Product Charlie buys at Union Jack Collectibles, the British-themed store where he goes looking for a candle shaped like Winston Churchill after he gets blackmailed by Dr. Randy.

116

Pitch 'n' Putt
Golf course mentioned by one of Charlie's patients.

117

Plain But Nude
One of the low end strip clubs with open management positions that Charlie mentions to Sean.

118

Prestige Escort Service

Services

Sex Services

Prestige Escort Service
Escort service. "We're so classy it's stupid"

119

Prison Times
Newspaper in the prison that reviews the Romeo and Juliet theater production.

120

Proloft
Anti-Anxiety drug sold by Galaxy-Payson Pharmaceutical company. "Proloft may cause cognitive impairment, behavioral disinhibition, lack of coordination and hypotension. Do not mix with alcohol."

121

Raisin Bran
Generic cereal box on shelf behind Lacey during her new modeling job at Mom Mart.

122

The Red Lion Tavern
Sign for sale at Union Jack Collectibles, the British-themed store where he goes looking for a candle shaped like Winston Churchill after he gets blackmailed by Dr. Randy.

123

Redneck Ghost Hunters

Redneck Ghost Hunters
Reality TV show that Patrick mentions.

124

Riverside High School

Sabrina's Satin Surrender

Education

High Schools

Riverside High School
Where Patrick went to high school.

125

Romeo in Joliet
Cleo starts a drama department in prison, with plans to perform Shakespeare inspired works.

126

Ruby Tuesdays
Sean tells Charlie that the Rolling Stones are playing a secret show at the Roxy under the name Ruby Tuesdays, but it turns out to be a bunch of guys who work at Ruby Tuesday's doing covers of Rolling Stones songs.

127

SeanHealeyisacheatingdouchebag.com

Books-Fiction

Sabrina's Satin Surrender
Romance novel from the acclaimed author of Southern Heat.

128

SeanHealeyisacheatingdouchebag.gov

SeanHealeyisacheatingdouchebag.com
Website Lacey sets up.

129

SeanHealeyisacheatingdouchebag.net

SeanHealeyisacheatingdouchebag.gov
Website Lacey sets up.

130

SeanHealeyisacheatingdouchebag.tv

SeanHealeyisacheatingdouchebag.net
Website Lacey sets up.

131

Sleeping with a Lesbian for Money

SeanHealeyisacheatingdouchebag.tv
Website Lacey sets up.

132

Share-a-keet
Terrible business investment decision Charlie reminds Jen about - for people who don't want the burden of caring for a parakeet full time.

133

The Shaved Fox
Strip club where Sean gets a job.

134

She's Using You
Movie starring Tom Cruise that Charlie makes up.

135

Silence
Nightclub that Lacey makes up.

136

Movies-Comedy

Sleeping with a Lesbian for Money
Movie Charlie makes up. "It's like The Hangover, but with lesbians."

137

Sober Companion Barbie

Sun Valley Savings & Loan

Toys

Dolls

Sober Companion Barbie
Name Lacey calls Jordan when Jordan tells her she has a drinking problem. Lacey: "Yeah, I have a problem. I'm getting smothered by Sober Companion Barbie."

138

Southern Heat
Romance novel - mentioned of cover of Sabrina's Satin Surrender.

139

Soy Flakes
Breakfast cereal product on shelf behind Lacey during her new modeling job at Mom Mart.

140

Street Cycle
Magazine that Charlie's ex-wife's new boyfriend reads.

141

Strippers-for-Less
One of the low end strip clubs with open management positions that Charlie mentions to Sean.

142

Financial Companies

Banks

Sun Valley Savings & Loan
Charlie's bank, where he drops his pants to protest the bank's anti-pajamas dress code.

143

Swamp Wars
Reality TV show that Patrick mentions.

144

Tavern
Seen during commercial Lindsay is filming.

145

The Temptress
Lingerie clothing product for sale at French Cut.

146

Testoster-gel
Testosterone booster product Lacey gets Ed hooked on. "It totally rips your bod"

147

Thanksgiving Everyday

The Things Dudes Shouldn't Expect from O...

Dining

Food Trucks

Thanksgiving Everyday
Food truck Charlie's ex-wife buys.

148

Stores-misc

The Things Dudes Shouldn't Expect from Other Dudes Store
Joke Charlie makes when Sean asks about his birthday gift. Charlie: "It's still on layaway at the Things Dudes Shouldn't Expect from Other Dudes store."

149

Toastie Bun Buns
Breakfast cereal product on shelf behind Lacey during her new modeling job at Mom Mart.

150

Tortilla Chips
Generic chip bag Charlie's dad eats.

151

Tramps Without Stamps

Healthcare

Medical Services

Tramps Without Stamps
Tattoo removal service Charlie's ex-patient Hope started.

152

Tux Warehouse
Where Ed rents his tuxedo for his wedding.

153

Union Jack Collectibles

Gift Shops

Union Jack Collectibles
The British-themed store where Charlie goes looking for a candle shaped like Winston Churchill after he gets blackmailed by Dr. Randy.

154

Vanicures
Mobile manicure business Jen tries to get Charlie to invest.

155

Very Berry Berry
Halle Berry's frozen yogurt store. Lacey: "Oh, I saw that when I accidently watched the news before I switched over to E! Did you guys know that Halle Berry's opening a yogurt store? It's called Very Berry Berry."

156

The Wales Goodson Study

Books-Psychology

The Wales Goodson Study
Charlie and Kate's sex study.

157

Wiley's
Potato chips Charlie's neighbor brings over.

158

Wings Wings Wings
Restaurant that Nolan mentions.

159

Workboot Warehouse
Shoe store mentioned by one of Charlie's patients in.

160

Yummy Time Frozen Yogurt

'07 Toilet Tank Chardonnay

Dining

Frozen Yogurt Shops

Yummy Time Frozen Yogurt
Where Nolan meets the woman he's been talking to online, which turns out to be an 8 year old girl.

161

ZZZ's Coffee

162

Stay-out-of-My-Sister's-Pantsville, Illi...

Beverage Products

Wine

'07 Toilet Tank Chardonnay
One of Wayne's fine handcrafted prison wines.

MAKE BELIEVE MAP

163

The Garbage Building
Joke Charlie makes about the Department of Sanitation. Charlie: "I guess I just have to go down there and file a complaint in person at the Where does one go? The garbage building? The Hall of Trash?"

164

The Hall of Trash
Joke Charlie makes about the Department of Sanitation. Charlie: "I guess I just have to go down there and file a complaint in person at the Where does one go? The garbage building? The Hall of Trash?"

165

Nuru
Charlie's neighbor goes to Comic Con as the mutant king of planet Nuru.

166

Pussy Town
Where Wayne's play The Boy Who Couldn't Cry takes place.

167

Map

Urban Areas

Cities-Joke

Stay-out-of-My-Sister's-Pantsville, Illinois
Joke Sean makes when Charlie asks him where his sister is coming in from. Sean: "She lives in Stay-out-of-My-Sister's-Pantsville, Illinois."

168

Tarzana Methodist Church

Map

Structures

Churches

Tarzana Methodist Church
Lacey's church.

169

Wasn't-Even-an-Issue-Until-You-Brought-i...

Map

Urban Areas

Cities-Joke

Wasn't-Even-an-Issue-Until-You-Brought-it-Upberg
Joke Charlie makes when he asks Sean where his sister is coming in from and Sean tells him that she lives in Stay-out-of-My-Sister's-Pantsville, Illinois. Charlie: "Really? Because I'm from Wasn't-Even-an-Issue-Until-You-Brought-it-Upberg."

OTHER

170

The Alcoholics Anonymous Talent Show

American Pa-lease Association

Talent Shows

The Alcoholics Anonymous Talent Show
Talent show where Jordan and Patrick perform her original song "Jose Mi Amor"

171

Certificate of Copulation

Prof. Orgs

American Pa-lease Association
Joke Charlie makes when Reno Ventura from the American Psychological Association knocks on his door, because he thinks it's just another anger shill sent by Jordan.

172

The Austin Mangler
Charlie's serial killer patient Wayne.

173

Recognition

Awards

Certificate of Copulation
Certificate Jordan has at the prison - "copulation" is a typo, should have been "completion"

174

Quotes

Charlie
Charlie: Focusing on chopping up this apple has allowed me to drop my defenses and tell the truth. Now you can put the apple slices of honesty into the pitcher of healing.

175

Quotes

Charlie
Charlie: That was just to kill the sexual tension. You know sexual tension costs small businesses over $5 billion a year? I was just being fiscally responsible.

176

Quotes

Charlie
Charlie: I guess it goes back to that old saying, A sleeping bear is just a pillow if you don't wake it up.

177

Quotes

Charlie
Charlie: Not sure if you know, but 'grief-stricken' comes from the German, 'greifstracken', which means to grieve violently.

178

Charlie & Sean

Quotes

Charlie & Sean
Charlie: What is up with you?
Sean: Up with me? Nothing is up with me. It is you with whom things are up.
Charlie: Okay, now I know something is going on. You just used the word 'whom' properly.

179

Charlie & Sean

The Charlie Goodson Memorial Indoor Golf...

Quotes

Charlie & Sean
Charlie: But why would she tell me not to sleep with her?
Sean: I don't know. It's some reverse cowgirl psychology.
Charlie: Reverse psychology.
Sean: Whatever, dude. If you wanna take the fun out of it.

180

Cheetos and Tobacco Baklava

Sporting Events

The Charlie Goodson Memorial Indoor Golf Classic
Joke Sean makes about another game of golf on Charlie's pool table, after Charlie's gone.

181

Recipes

Recipes-misc

Cheetos and Tobacco Baklava
Dish the Latin Lords gave Wayne's Aryan gang as part of the truce.

182

Codgers
L.A. Codgers. Los Angeles baseball team Charlie jokes about when his father suggests he go back to playing baseball.

183

Dragons
Charlie's baseball team.

184

Quotes

Ed
Ed: I'm going to make this real easy. You get in my car and I'm going to drive you to the loony bin and get you zip-zapped.

185

Quotes

Ed
Ed: Boy, did you eat the whole bowl of stupid this morning?

186

Quotes

Ed
Ed: I'm starting to think this is not therapy. I think we're making you sangria.

187

Ed, Charlie, Lacey & Patrick

Quotes

Ed
Ed: Welcome aboard the pain train Charlie Whoo! Whoo!

188

The First Annual Goodson-Healey Indoor G...

Quotes

Ed, Charlie, Lacey & Patrick
Ed: You lose your car keys under a pile of strippers again?
Charlie: It's not a pile of strippers. The correct term is a gaggle of strippers.
Lacey: I thought it was a pride of strippers.
Patrick: No, it's a pride of hookers, a gaggle of strippers, and a swarm of MILFs.

189

Homewrecking Skank Convention

Sporting Events

The First Annual Goodson-Healey Indoor Golf Classic
Sean and Charlie play golf on Charlie's pool table.

190

Conventions and Seminars

Homewrecking Skank Convention

191

IndianGirlinaComa.com

Charities

IndianGirlinaComa.com
Lacey's charity scam. Patrick builds the website for her.

192

Jordan

Quotes

Jordan
Jordan: I will pop your boobs.

193

Jordan

Quotes

Jordan
Jordan: This is so typical of my sister. I was born right on time. Then she was born three hours later with an umbilical cord wrapped around her neck. Look at me, my face is blue.

194

Jordan

L.A. Limo Inspection Committee

Quotes

Jordan
Jordan: It's my medicine. It helps me keep my feelings inside.

195

Le Problemo De La Bangarama

Prof. Orgs

L.A. Limo Inspection Committee
When Nolan gets a call to pick up a client while driving the group around in his limo, they tell the client they are with the L.A. Limo Inspection Committee.

196

Latin Lords
Prison gang making wine, now competing with Wayne's fine handcrafted prison wines and spirits.

197

Language

Sexual Jargon

Le Problemo De La Bangarama
Joke somebody makes about Charlie's women problems: "The French has a name for this kind of problem. It's called 'Le problemo de la bangarama.'"

198

The London Bridge
One of Charlie's nicknames for a two guys, one girl three-way that he mentions to Sean after a girl offers to have sex with both of them. Charlie: "So are we going to do this? You mean the London Bridge? The push me, pull you? The two hot dogs on a bun?"

199

Nolan

Oh, My God, I'd Rather Take a Bath with ...

Quotes

Nolan
Nolan: Well, it's like my grandpappy used to say... If a possum has your brownies, don't ask if he's sleeping or dead, just get your brownies back and walk away.

200

Our Lady of Let's All Look at Sean's Pac...

Matter

Colors

Oh, My God, I'd Rather Take a Bath with a Hair Dryer Than Listen to This Putz
Joke Charlie makes when Dr. Woo, his new anger management counselor, asks the group what color is anger? "Is 'Oh, my God, I'd rather take a bath with a hair dryer than listen to this putz' a color?"

201

Religious Organizations

Our Lady of Let's All Look at Sean's Package
Church Sean makes up in Charlie and Sean and the Battle of the Exes to describe the churchgoers that came out to see him when he got tricked into sitting naked in his car.

202

Our Lady of Tears

Religious Organizations

Our Lady of Tears
Joke Charlie makes about Sean masturbating in a church.

203

Pathetics
Oakland Pathetics. Baseball team Charlie jokes about when his father suggests he go back to playing baseball.

204

The Push Me, Pull You

Language

Sexual Jargon

The Push Me, Pull You
One of Charlie's nicknames for a two guys, one girl three-way that he mentions to Sean after a girl offers to have sex with both of them. Charlie: "So are we going to do this? You mean the London Bridge? The push me, pull you? The two hot dogs on a bun?"

205

Sanjay

Quotes

Sanjay
Sanjay (Lacey's Father): When I get back, the two of you better have made up. We do not fight in this family. We blackmail, we backstab, we slowly poison, but we do not fight.

206

Sean

Snowboarders for the Lord

Quotes

Sean
Sean: Did Miss Congeniality just invite us upstairs to double-team her?

207

The Two Hot Dogs on a Bun

Religious Organizations

Snowboarders for the Lord
Group in the airport.

208

Language

Sexual Jargon

The Two Hot Dogs on a Bun
One of Charlie's nicknames for a two guys, one girl three-way that he mentions to Sean after a girl offers to have sex with both of them. Charlie: "So are we going to do this? You mean the London Bridge? The push me, pull you? The two hot dogs on a bun?"

209


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210

Warden Hartley